A new beginning, a new chapter

shifting!!

2009-09-06T09:56:00.001+08:00

im moving outta here...to the below...

http://inclinedtobejustme.wordpress.com

cya

Fragile

2009-09-05T14:24:00.000+08:00

Learnt last night that an Uncle has passed away, though we weren't close but its still something sad to know of.
Shall be on my way to the wake and now, here is fragile, from Sting..

If blood will flow when fresh and steel are one
Drying in the colour of the evening sun
Tomorrows rain will wash the stains away
But something in our minds will always stay
Perhaps this final act was meant
To clinch a lifetimes argument
That nothing comes from violence and nothing ever could
For all those born beneath an angry star
Lest we forget how fragile we are

On and on the rain will fall
Like tears from a star like tears from a star
On and on the rain will say
How fragile we are how fragile we are

On and on the rain will fall
Like tears from a star like tears from a star
On and on the rain will say
How fragile we are how fragile we are
How fragile we are how fragile we are

Auditioning the UM3X and UM1

2009-08-18T22:51:00.001+08:00

Well, went to the gym for a short while and after...mmm went to have a quickie with stereo electronics heh!
Tried out the high end UM3x , and as usual, im easily poisoned...damned it sounded good, felt comfortable, felt like i could have it on for hours and hours before hearing fatigue kicks in. The thing about it, think its a rather sensitive IEM, at low volumes, its was pretty audible. It was clear, the separation was great, the soundstage / headstage was good too. vocals seemed good on it (tried "ave maria" by beyonce). Jazz was not to bad either, tried "Swing on a star" by Joe Derise and "If the stars were mine" by Melody Gardot, sounded great. WAS SOOO TEMPTED TO JUST SwIPE THE DAMN CARD..but i got the better of myself..FOR ONCE.. as im taking into acct the amt of debt im coming to..and, im saving up for a home rig, which will ultimately consist of a cdt, dac, hp amp, maybe a power amp as well should i decide on speakers when my head feels tired with the headphones.

Oh yes, and the entry level UM1, have to say, the fit is as comfortable as the um3x, however, i had this feeling that i'll feel tired really shortly the mmoment i turned on "ave maria" again, there seems to be this higher pitch thing..which im not sure how to describe, but it seems to be ringing in my head, making feel like...getting a headache after probably an album? But have to say the clarity was there, maybe thats whats making the sibilance ring i suppose mmm... but yes, i have to agree with many that, that, UM1 will make a great entry level iem.

Cheers!

*edit : decided against the earphones, shall build up my home rig. yep as above, cdt,dac,hp amp, maybe a power amp too! woots!

Family Woes ... ...

2009-07-20T19:02:00.002+08:00

Staying together as a family has its perks, when you get married, you have your folks to look after your kids, you'll have people at home, so as to kill the calm of the day, have dinner with more people as a family...

So i thought.

Just yesterday, Pops went berserk at Brother over some minor stuff which led to a huge fight with sis-in-law's indifferent attitude and how my parents hardly get to see and play with the little one at home...

Which ultimately brings brother alot of trouble as he is stucked inbetween.. but what i cannot believe is that the sis-in-law actually tried to just carry the kid and leave the home... atrocious.. the situation was already not good and she had to do that... how selfish can she be ... i mean, you just leave my brother alone getting the crap from Pops and you just walk out... It was non of my business, didnt want to make it more difficult for my brother, or i swear to god i'll just slap her. . .

It feels terrible, the atmosphere at home must be horrid now, i believe so, to the extent that im staying in office just to skip dinner and just get back to my room once im home ... wish dad can just shut the hell up sometimes, we're all grown ups, we'll be responsible for who are and what we become.. think parents always seem to fail to know that... and its just sad..

Seeing my brother sob, pant that hard... i couldnt help it..i needed to give him a hug, he is...my one and only brother, we don't show it, but there is love there... had to tell dad "enough" and bring brother back to his room... wish things didnt have to be that way...

But i guess, its good that things are being said... whether anot it changes the situation, is another qns altogether now...

It pains the heart to see these ... in e past ..its just the folks screaming with the children, now there is the sis-in-law, i hate that she is so terribly selfish.. but there is nothing to be said or done... If only the brother didnt allow her to boss him ard so much...

Seeing my brother cry, my niece actually cried along... its touching, somehow..you'll know it , even as a child, that blood is thick, when one is hurt, the rest will hurt along..its weird, but i try to be indifferent... i wished we were closer...

To the niece, Chloe baby, be a good girl k? daddy loves you, daddy doesnt scold you, please grow up to be a good girl... and not always demand to want things just because daddy can't say no to you... you know daddy loves you so much...so much that he wants you to have the best of everything you can have... somethings that even he doesnt have...

To the brother, Nels, its difficult, but you can do it...after all these years..as a kid till now, a father of 1 plus another 1 coming soon.. must be stronger ok? and must must take care of your health...

Sometimes, we quarrel and get out of hand...but we need to remember...we're family, whats there not to forgive and forget...whats said...shall be said... and move along now... to a better tomorrow...

*time for home*

-Anson

Starry starry nightt~~~

2009-07-08T22:36:00.003+08:00

Vincent (Starry Starry Night)

Starry starry night, paint your palette blue and grey

Look out on a summer's day with eyes that know the darkness in my soul

Shadows on the hills, sketch the trees and the daffodils

Catch the breeze and the winter chills, in colors on the snowy linen land

Now I understand what you tried to say to me

How you suffered for you sanity How you tried to set them free

They would not listen they did not know how, perhaps they'll listen now

Starry starry night, flaming flowers that brightly blaze

Swirling clouds in violet haze reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue

Colors changing hue, morning fields of amber grain

Weathered faces lined in pain are soothed beneath the artist's loving hand

Chorus:

For they could not love you, but still your love was true

And when no hope was left in sight, on that starry starry night

You took your life as lovers often do,

But I could have told you, Vincent,

This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you

Starry, starry night, portraits hung in empty halls

Frameless heads on nameless walls with eyes that watch the world and can't forget.

Like the stranger that you've met, the ragged man in ragged clothes

The silver thorn of bloody rose, lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow

Now I think I know what you tried to say to me

How you suffered for you sanity How you tried to set them free

They would not listen they're not listening still

Perhaps they never will.

-edit...i know, no star can be seen on pic. but...wth yea? heh

photos from now on....

2009-06-28T13:08:00.002+08:00

Took some photos with me new camera, mmm just playing around with it at the mo, well its not a slr but anyways~ happy with it. heh!

Think i'll try to have more pictures with this bloggie from now on, otherwise ...it be just a tad plain isnt it!?

Lesson...5?

2009-06-21T23:01:00.002+08:00

I'm at lesson 5 of my guitar classes..and till date..my left hand still ain't pressing any strings yet..its just the right hand and fingers plucking away..hmmm, and as i've that impulsive buying streak... you seen my guitar ya? ITS E WRONG GUITAR~ ok, its an acoustic guitar, but i'm learning classical... so i'd reckon i'd be practicing with this guitar for now...for the time being.

My teacher says, "nooo don't use the acoustic guitar, doesnt help even if you change the strings"

"The neck is so much narrower than the classical ones."

Ok, so fine, i've made up my mind to get a cheap one! for once a cheap one!... UNTIL....

Teach asks classmate, "you bought ur guitar yet? (this girl is taking grade one exams soon)

classmate replies, "yep, C40"

Teach says, "oh no, your exam costs your 100+++ , and you bring a 100+ guitar in? the Sound is no good! and the examiners don't care if you can play, its the sound"

So Anson asks " er.. its just grade 1?"

Teach just shakes head...

So Anson asks again "er..ok, then what range at least?"

Teach says, " at the very least a solid top guitar"

So Anson (who already did some research), " and that is at the very least..300+" .

-__________-

So finally i gave up and said.."ok, fine, nvm, wait till i even get good enough for GRADE 1 exams . "

LOL

^___^ but i like this though...pluck pluck pluck..therapeutic if you ask me. heh

cheerios~

might go check out maestro guitars or ask the teach to recommend me something to buy heh.

pluck pluck strumm....pluck? toingggg...

2009-04-22T18:33:00.003+08:00

In conjunction to me, yes me, learning to play the guitar come 2nd of May onwards... i bought me a ....yes.. wad did u know? A GUITAR~~ the Yamaha F310..

Heh, rather excited about the coming lesson thats gonna start for me, can't wait. Mmmm.. abit early to buy one, but i couldn't wait , so..there you go. DOn't have nimble fingers, but imma try, since i've already signed up...just do it!!

hopefully all will turn out eh okay~ :D

And it was a uber fast sale for the sale people la i tell you... in fact..im easy for sales men... normally i just read up online, since i'm a total guitar noob, decided what i want, go to the shop, chop chop, swipe...toot toot toot toot toot (machine process)... transaction approved..and VOILA~ sales done!

And oh yah..i made that "yamaha music card" too~ turns out its free~ muahahaha so, go get one too~ if u wanna get stuff from yamaha that is. ahhhh can't wait can't wait..feeling excited...yet i know i will be extremely frustrated when i start..always happens to me, when im learning, and i don't get it right i get extremely frustrated then i'll QUIT..right..hai.. hopefully i'll get it right...MUST OK?? MUST.. no need super duper pro... okok can le!!! muahahahah

ciao~

I WANT!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-04-16T11:23:00.001+08:00

I WANT!!!!!!!!!!!!

new dabblings

2009-04-08T10:52:00.003+08:00

recently, i've gone dabbling into audio stuff, sparked of with just wanting to get a pair of headphones; looks cool, no? Realised that there are loads of things about these stuff, so i've been like reading alot of forum posts on all these heh, still trying to grasp the terms and seeing if i do hear the sounds the people in there claim to hear or differences, reckon its a try more and do more and you'll noe the difference kinda stuff, which probably means..in the near future i'd probably get another can or two to test em out.

current portable rig : Creative Zen 16gb -> Go Vibe Petite + DAC -> ATH - ES7

Getting in near future - > Ipod Classic 120gb

Wants to get - > Qables IQube amp | Denon D2000/ ATH -ESW9 (woodies!)

cheers
Anson

can do better? i do hope so

2009-03-16T23:42:00.002+08:00

Was out in town over the weekend to the IT show when i happen to see this grad show for SP's school of design ,watching the students, watching their glow, happily getting ready to grad, to show the world what they were made of..

I'm a grad from poly myself, from uni too, somehow..it feels that i've never done so.

For some reasons, probably because i was a below-par student, average at best, no achievements in school to show for anything if one ever asks if i've ever done anything.

All i did, just pass, and it will past, school, that is. Maybe because i did not attend my uni convocation? Maybe not, i suppose even if i did, i reckoned it'll feel fake to me, after all, what people took the last three years locally to do, i took one and a half to do, i'd probably learnt less, but thats what i chose, to speed things up, to step into the real world, only to realise i know so little.

we live the life that we choose, its our choice to make, what im saying is that, we make so many decisions in life, how it turns out, sometimes, its not really up to us to expect, because, not everything will turn out to be how we imagined them to be, i'd imagine myself to be still single and probably having my own car now, but alas it is not to be, but still i'm happily attached to my girlfriend, though without the car that i want. If i'd to give up as easily as i did before, i may not be even still at where i am now, working in the same place, where things, sometimes seems to have picked up, but when i look at it all over, it does not seem the case. ponder ponder...

Making decisions ... making choices of life ... desire to be something, desire to want something, desire to become someone... hmm i wonder what i am now...

things are not all rosy , work has been taking a toil though i must admit im most of the time doing nothing, just playing the waiting game, waiting for decisions, waiting for orders, waiting for my orders to meted, its difficult. its very difficult..

i need a light ..show me that path

These Small Hours

2009-03-09T21:24:00.001+08:00

Let it go,
Let it roll right off your shoulder
Don't you know
The hardest part is over
Let it in,
Let your clarity define you
In the end
We will only just remember how it feels

Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders,
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away,
But these small hours,
These small hours still remain

Let it slide,
Let your troubles fall behind you
Let it shine
Until you feel it all around you
And i don't mind
If it's me you need to turn to
We'll get by,
It's the heart that really matters in the end

Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders,
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away,
But these small hours,
These small hours still remain

All of my regret
Will wash away some how
But i can not forget
The way i feel right now

In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists & turns of fate
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away but these small hours
These small hours, still remain,
Still remain
These little wonders
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away
But these small hours
These little wonders still remain

i wanna..

2009-02-21T11:38:00.003+08:00

i wanna ... slp more
i wanna have ... uninterrupted slp
i wanna ... strike lottery
i wanna ... buy this buy that...

mmm maybe all the "i' wannas" is giving me stress..

im gonna take a short nap

Post V-day weekend

2009-02-16T23:08:00.003+08:00

Hey ALL~~! Happy belated valentines to all!! =))
Didnt do much, only went bintan for the weekends with my girl and john n gf. Mmm..lets just say, we spent alot of time doing nothing, but overall things were ok, and have indeed enjoyed myself away from the city buzz.

^___^ lazy to do long post to describe things in details... maybe another day.

Cheerios world ! just a note to make known that im still alive!

You've got a friend

2008-12-16T16:38:00.001+08:00

you've got a friend~
you've got a friend~

aint it good to know!

you've got a friend~

aint it good to know!
aint it good to know!
aint it good to know!
aint it good to know!

you've got a friend~~~

TIRED

2008-11-05T22:55:00.002+08:00

i am not cut out for responsibility at work, everyday i doubt my own capability to handle even ONE frigging customer and back at home office? the projects, the ops, the who evers...

i'm tired of coming out with excuses to people on why things can't work why things aren't working the way it should be.. let me complain.. i want to rant and rave .. i want to throw things around..

i want to make excuses for myself... yet i know its not right to..but i just want to... im not competent enough to be doing what i'm doing, it seems simple enough, just to support people, reply mails and stuff... for one, i can't handle it.. this sucks. is it me, or do i worry abt some things toooo much, that it seems like i don't care at all already, its getting apparent that i don't give a shit about work anymore, tell me to do, then i do, maybe i don't give clear enough instructions... i hate support work..i hate it...why am i even the team leader again? im not even half as competent as my colleague... shit,probably because i have a frigging degree... or obviously e boss sees something in me that i obviously don't see in myself at this moment...

im tired... and what a joke, i've only been working for 11months.. hahahaha i suck.

not that i've made a whole lot of HUGE mistakes..just that im not prepared i suppose..

hai..wth am i talking about...

I SWEAR

2008-11-05T22:48:00.001+08:00

I F%^&^&!@#%$^Y& SWEAR i will use this blog to curse n frigging swear from now on....

DAMN YOU $%^%$%^&^ asshole...i @#$#$%$#%$#$ admit it was my@#$#$R fault not to inform you through the gawd damnit phone .. but please @#$#@R%#$T^ read your gawd damn @#%$#@$%^ mail !!

you wan to play it like this.. watch me... watch me do it your way in the future. ARGH...

travel thoughts

2008-11-04T18:40:00.001+08:00

Feel like going away for a year or more...
go on a year long exploration around the world... mmmm

Brisbane

2008-07-29T00:20:00.000+08:00

I MISS U !!!!

Don't Feel Good Day

2008-07-17T19:13:00.002+08:00

Yep its one of those Don't FEel GooD Days...feels sucky... im feeling grouchy and extremely irritablee... careful..i bite.

AAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ponderings...

2008-07-12T03:21:00.002+08:00

Finally met up with a friend whom i got to know online 2 years back while i was studying.

Had dinner and a movie which isn't the whole idea of this story....

It was during the coffee session ... when i began listening to another person's life story.. no..i don't mind listening.. cos i'm not exactly cold blooded... but . i realized alot. realized that..some things..don't happen in just the movies or the tv box.. how one's life can be sucky as it is.. one may think one's life is shit.. but the next is even worse.. but in my point of view.. however more sucky it is to me..doesnt matter. . . because its hurts the most to those who are involved..

How parents can lead their children to almost to their wits end..trying to support their own family yet still engulfing huge amt of insults and blames for things that they've done/ not done ..

Over this 2 years... i've heard two to three heart wrenching stories.. that made me understand more.. making me grow more.. making me grateful more to my parents, my friends and much more.

i used to think my life sucks.. i still do..but incomparable... nothing to compare about actually.. like i've mentioned earlier.. its the people involved that hurts the most..and all i can do.. when they tell their tales.. is to keep quiet and let them finish...

Frankly..i'm grateful to these people...

Rong, DFZ, Lah Ling, Eve... thank you all for sharing soo much with me.. i think i .. i can realise how lucky i am.. and how i should be grateful for every little thing that i have .. thank you.

=) bless all these people, one day, more good will come to all of u... i believe..everyone deserves an extremely good day.

grateful soul
Anson

Right Person, Right Question

2008-07-04T15:03:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i don't understand what is the point of asking, only to realise, to ask someone about something ... its not that simple. It's an art.

For example in a work environment, you're new, you're green, you know simply nuts about anything, in my opinion, its up to you and only yourself to find out what you need to know. But after asking, please do take it down try to absorb as much as fast as you can. If you really don't know and need to ask, ask the right question, the question that pin points to this particular problem you have. Ask the right person, definitely no point asking A for something that is B's specialty.

mmmm im tired of answering questions in the office... no doubt its because im inpatient but im trying, not efficient asking and asking the same questions every other time. Do what you can, at least put in more effort..otherwise all it seems to me is that this person is just not putting in any effort. .. .mmmm ok..stop bitching...tired.. yawn.. zzzz

Lousy Weekend

2008-06-14T21:03:00.002+08:00

Blahhh.. boring saturday..

series of events...

wake up~

go simei to pick up something from ex-colleague... and he was late for 1/2 hour..(people, u all know i cannot stand people being late)

come home..rot...nap..rot...

went down stairs to practice my serves (tennis)..100 balls later..i called it quits...

showered..

nap...

didnt have dinner ...

went to town ...

went pc show ... realise cannot buy anything that i want due to tight pocket

went to marina.. walked abit..felt restless

and

finally

decided

GO home...

and home i am now... what a wasted weekend... makes the coming week ahead feels sucky..bad end..bad start... don't like...

WHERE'S MY JIE MEI. DFZ, SYLLY!!?????

HMPH!!!

Bye bye

2008-05-29T00:02:00.001+08:00

This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye (no, no, no)
Mamas, daddies, sisters,
brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky 'cause
we will never say bye

As a child there were them times
I didn't get it but you kept me alive
I didn't know why you didn't show up sometimes
It's something more than saying "I miss you"
But when we talked too
All them grown full things
Separation brings
You never let me know it
You never let it show because
You loved me and obviously
There's so much more left to say
If you were with me today face to face

[ Chorus ]
I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"
"I wish I could find a way try not to cry"
As time goes by
And soon as you reach a better place
Still I'll give the whole world to see your face
And I'm bragging right next to you
It feels like you gone too soon
The hardest thing to do is say bye bye

(Bye Bye [ 3x ] ) Bye bye

And you never got the chance to
[ Find more Lyrics at www.mp3lyrics.org/LueX ]
see how good I've done
And you never got to see me back at number one
I wish that you were here to celebrate together
I wish that we could spend the holidays together

I remember when you used to tuck me in at night
With the Teddy Bear you gave to
me that I held so tight
I thought you were so strong
That you can make it through whatever
It's so hard to accept the fact you're gone forever

[ Chorus ]
I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"
"I wish I could find a way try not to cry"
As time goes by
And soon as you reach a better place
Still I'll give the world to see your face
And I'm bragging right next to you (?)
It feels like you gone too soon
The hardest thing to do is say bye bye

(bye bye bye bye bye bye [ 3x ] ) Bye bye

This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye (no, no, no)
Mamas, daddies, sisters,
brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandmother
Lift your head to the sky 'cause
we will never say bye

[ Chorus ]
I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"
"I wish I could find a way try not to cry"
As time goes by
And soon as you reach a better place
Still I'll give the world to see your face
And I'm bragging right next to you
It feels like you gone too soon
The hardest thing to do is say bye bye

31st

2008-05-21T23:13:00.002+08:00

Ah.. the 31st post. right.. not much of a leap but what e hec.

Six months into the job, still having fun, though i bitch about it alot... and disheartening at times when u try n try n try and all you see is sooo much effort by sooo many people down the drain...
Hope things pick up really soon before i give up. Not much of a fighter i am.

im happy of late...well... quite la.

things to look forward too..sooo many things la

dfz is gonna be back end of the year woo hoo!! *finally i get a chance to kick her sorry butt..IF i get to*

Pay coming soon!@! jhahaha thats definitely something to look forward to when morale gets down a lil...

shout at sylly when i get a chance to...

catch up with the jie meis more often

play more tennis

and coming into the 3rd month of my r/s with rong.

ahhh~ so much so much!

contented... for now

Peace within...

2008-04-27T22:49:00.002+08:00

On the 24th of April...

i was awaken by a series of soft knocks on my door... "ah gong don't look good, we're going hospital now" ...

On arrival.. Ah Gong, has already left us all peacefully at 0340...

Ah Gong, wen wen is sorry that he didnt make it earlier to see you for the last time... It was a struggle within to not want to cry... Dad is not taking it well..ah Ma too.. Must be strong for them..

Over the pass few nights staying at the wake...praying to Ah Gong, burning joss sticks and offerings to him.. i recall many many things....

i recall the days back in bedok reservior..when Ah Gong, religiously..takes a bus to the wet market....buys his two grandsons porridge..or laksa.. for breakfast, cooks for our family..lunch and dinner... how he always scolds me for not wanting to eat.. saying i'll starve myself to death..
Remembers how he or grandma will bring me to kindergarten..remember how he used to smoke.. how he sits on the chair..similar to a beach chair watching tv in the living room...how WE all use to gather in the living room..watching the 9.30pm drama together..and him getting amused at me ..when i behave like a kid should..wanting to hit the baddies on tv...
i feel guilty when i used to steal some money from him... even though he still gives me and brother extra pocket money when we go to school... im sorry ah gong...

Remembering the various times when ah gong...fell.., got sick, or times when he needed operations.. for various various reasons.. i remember how everyone said how healthy and strong he was... slowly becoming weak..until the past few years..wheel chair bound..and finally bed ridden.. the past month or two..

All my 25years alive...i had this old old man..staying with me.. being very patient...lo0ving us all very ve ry very much...

Until today... when we all sent him into the crematorium.. we all had to watch him go... it was difficult to suck in .. but we all needed to step up..and not cry.. i think i did well...

Ah Gong...

Thank you for everything...

your love for this family
you staying strong for all of us....

ah Gong,

i love you.. kor kor has his own family now...

阿文会乖乖的。。长大了，今天起会好好的照顾婆婆，爸爸，妈妈。。。您安心的走吧。。。

I think i've found peace within myself now.. to let ah gong leave in peace..

this is the time when i'll have to step up.. and i believe you'll watch over me..like you've always have... leave it to me to look after them...

for the last time.. Ah Gong ... i love you...and you'll forever be in our hearts ...

字
文

lalalallaa

2008-04-16T07:43:00.000+08:00

lalalalala~~ lalalalala~~~~ lalala~~~

lalalalalalalla~~~~

just me being lame in the morn~` lalalalala~~~

wheres me wii~~?? where oh where can i bee~~????

BEE?? OH NO!!! BEE!! AHHH!!!!!

-________________________-"

wahahahaha

li li lala

2008-04-16T07:42:00.001+08:00

aside

2008-04-13T09:56:00.002+08:00

finally met up with jun n flora last evening, as a trio, we hardly gone out tgt.. so last night was a good night.

dinner at nydc, following dessert at liang seah..all was good, including our lil walk over to jun's place and bus back home...

its amazing how time flies, when i bumped into an old friend from way back in sec sch, it made me realise..oooh back in sec sch..the only person i knew for a decade was weelin, now.. including sec sch friends...wow.. its really been a long long time... how much time has passed... how much have i changed... and now we start to wonder what my uni and poly friends are up too..

in another year or two, i'd probably be wondering if everyone is married or if they are with kids, heh, that'll be a sight...

mmm looking forward to planning dinner with my friend dao bu in the next two weeks... probably hv loads of stories to share with me...

whee

$#@!#$#@!!!

2008-04-13T09:43:00.002+08:00

why can others bring their bf's and you can't?

why i post u as my gf in facebook u also never ack?

why? very xia suay you is it? or you simply don't want certain people to see it even though they know?

you claim you don't like those boxes in my room, my wallpaper and etc... fine i can make changes to them. BUT CAN YOU? you simply threw my things on the floor.. and that night i didnt even blow up at u ... i simply just played around hitting ur soft toy and you almost yelled at me... why?

you don't like, fine, i can keep them one side.. fine.

you want your s p a c e? YOU CAN HAVE IT. Won't be bothering you today... enjoy ur rest and enjoy ur tuition... rest well after that for the next WORKING day...

neglected bloggie

2008-03-27T08:13:00.003+08:00

Dear Neglected Bloggie,

its been a couple of weeks since i've vandalised you and look, some tootpit goldie fishie says im neglecting you... haahaha~~

In case you're wondering, workie workie work work has been really 'fun' though im not that enthu and goal driven... its still kinda wearing me down abit.. unsolved stuff, unknown stuff... loads of stuff that i should be reading up and studying on.. just do not , i say do not have the mood to look through them once im home.. heh. But still im'ma get myself motivated to carry on , afterall, i've only been woorking for four short months.... and i've yet to get my confirmation..just did my review though..looks good i suppose.. More on work... suppose i get the strength (in terms of man power) in my team, it looks like i'll be the team lead.. mmm am i up for it? capable enough? don't know, shall try though... jia you jia you to me...

on the other hand...just to piss more people off with the way i spend my moolah... dear n sylly...i shall put my PS3 on hold and get a Nintendo WII FIRST!!! LOL.. wii wii wii~~ (whee whee whee...)

So you see my dear neglected blog, my life is such, so mundane and regular, that i'm slacking too much, to put astop to it...as a start, ive registered the 15km passion run, (though i can't even do 5 now) to make myself start exercising again..time to lose some flabs man!!! Hopefully the girlfriend can pick up on it and exercise along with me. :)

oh bloggie..i forgot to mention someone else...OI DFZ WHERE ON EARTH ARE YOU AGAIN!!?? SLAP SLAP KICK KICK!!!! *text me sometime when you're available yea?*

THIS SAT 29th MARCH IS EARTHOUR! OFF YOUR LIGHTS FOR AN HOUR STARTING FROM 8PM!! SAVE DA EARTH!! PEacE!!

regards

Anson

say yes on the first...will ya?

2008-03-09T23:01:00.002+08:00

hai...everytime everything also must ask more than once... and the YES will only come after i start getting piss off.. why can't you just say yes on the first time around? Is it that difficult?

Things have been fine.. work is ok, life is just fine.. everything is normal...good right?

started moving the shelves around in my room...re-positioning the items in e room...mmm doesnt seem to make it look bigger..but still a change. which should do me some good. i hope.

bought a 32" lcd tv .... gonna mount it on my wall as soon as i can get the people to come and do it! after which..imma go get a dvd player...or a home entertainment system...and a ps 3!
and walah! my change in my room is complete! oh..yes..maybe after all that..i'll stop buying nonsense for a short while..and den..get a new laptop as well!! a laptop with a pc output port...otherwise..icannot extend my monitor to another lcd which im thinking of getting..so cool can. haha ooh ooh i wanna get a ext hdd too.. ahhh so much stuff to get..sooo little money to spend...NO SAVINGS..AHHHH DIE
jia you jia you

realize

2008-03-05T19:36:00.001+08:00

Take time to realize,

That your warmth is. Crashing down on in.

Take time to realize,That I am on your side

Didn't I, Didn't I tell you.

But I can't spell it out for you,

No it's never gonna be that simple

No I cant spell it out for you

If you just realize what I just realized,

Then we'd be perfect for each other

And will never find another

Just realized what I just realized

We'd never have to wonder if

We missed out on each other now.

Take time to realize

Oh-oh I'm on your side

Didn't I, didn't I tell you.

Take time to realize

This all can pass you by.. Didn't I tell you

But I can't spell it out for you,

No its never gonna be that simple

No I can't spell it out for you.

If you just realized what I just realized

Then we'd be perfect for each other

And we'll never find another

Just realized what I just realized

We'd never have to wonder if

We missed out on each other now.

It's not always the same

No it's never the same

If you don't feel it too.

If you meet me half way

If you would meet me half way.

It could be the same for you

If you just realized what I just realized

Then we'd be perfect for each other

And we'll never find another

Just realized what I just realized

We'd never have to wonder

Just realized what I just realized

OoOoOOo

Missed out on each other now

Realize

i want to meet them...

2008-02-25T23:58:00.003+08:00

i want to meet your friends too.. remember this conversation?

Though i've not said it.. about the two.. if all is settled and they've accepted... they should be happy for you and stop their approaches..otherwise you know the only that will happen is that you'll be shedding more tears. If they understand, they should know to back off...
saying that...

i know maybe they might be in certain groups... i don't see why i cannot meet them.. if they truely are happy for you..they should accept it..or do you want me to forever stay in the dark?
i know somethings you think i don't. but nevermind those...

lets do this differently..in e past..we never hung out with each others pals/friends... lets do it this time? If you still want to feel guilty which i see no need to... den.. i don' tknw.. .wad else you want me to do?

=) lalala~ tough day at work..so many issues...tiring.. hai...

Another day

2008-02-18T23:58:00.001+08:00

yes yes.. bet everyone knows the pattern now, im obviously the sort who writes when his pissed or not happy..nothing new yah? But then again, i realise that there are more people who write when their not in the bestest of moods...and yes i do know of a few who writes when they are in great spirits..I sadly am not one of them...

hai... some people have skulls that are sooo god damn thick that they don't understand somethings...but then..sometimes it takes two to click.... don't really feel like talking about it? but still.. !!##$%^$^%&%^&^!!!

not feeling well..not in good mood...not in e bestest of form...

all i can say is..the past 2 weeks have been good... till today..my temper is really arghhh!!!

zzz

stop!!!!!

2008-01-30T23:04:00.000+08:00

work work work!!!! arghh!!! stop chasing me for things!!! i dunno i dunno i dunno!!!!!!!!

T_T

work,, and she's back from bkk

2008-01-27T02:53:00.000+08:00

work has been fine, trying to get things fix isnt always as easy as what consumers would like to it. after all they paid for it, hence they expect things to be perfect, can't blame em, but sometimes it gets too overwhelming for me. i can't handle stress that well man...but things seems ok.. just for now, cannot imagine when new services roll out....

the girl is back from her 3 day trip in Bkk, im happy that shes back, but im unhappy about something else... though she's got me gifts and all.. but i cannot help to think why she needs to buy gifts for some people.. aiya..i know i pick on all the nitty gritty stuff... but intuition tells me who the gifts are for... which means she's gonna see them soon... so when ur a while, means many many days and weeks till months...what is "not in the near future"? everything works ur way huh... hai.. u should be helping them stop coming to u, not the other way around right??? grrr... she probably thinks i'm unhappy about something else .. cos i can't havewhat i want and my way.

but still glad that she is back..we can continue our dates again haha...

Sylly..im thinking..i really am... lets see how things go over the next couple of weeks. =))

cheers. happy sunday to all

2008-01-22T00:24:00.000+08:00

=))

Just like old times, more to come i believe.. things will get better, for US. Love Love... *Hugs*

Just to let you know...

2008-01-21T00:58:00.000+08:00

that it doesnt matter tat i know u're reading, cos i'll still freely write wad i think... this is my avenue to let my friends know what is and have been happening.. esp for those in the loop.

that i'm always here for you, please don't be agitated because i keep asking whats wrong.. when u make it known that u're unhappy, i hope to talk things calmly out.. i rather u shoot at me..den keep it in your heart.

that i want to be here for you. Do you want me there?

that i've already been giving in loads, i know that you know that as well...try to give in to me sometime too? :)

that as unreasonable as i am, i always have ur interests in my heart..(though sometimes its my own interest as well) =)

that i want to be here for you not just only for the good times, but the bad and the worst as well... thats what im for isn't it?

that i'm looking forward to the day "如果我把我的手放在背后，愿不愿意牵着一起走, 愿不愿意牵著到最后" when you "愿意牵著到最后". =))

that even though u don't admit it, or wad to commit to it... in my heart, u're already my girlfriend.

love love...

waking up on the wrong side...

2008-01-20T09:49:00.000+08:00

woke up slightly later today compared to normal days... still feeling unhappy, slightly.

Wondering about the perfect life, is there any? Looking at successful people, having a partner who is doing just as well, having not everything..but almost all that is necessary to have a great life.. its all only but on the exterior isn't it? For all we know, they might have so much arguments behind the scenes about work, all other stuff. But to outsiders.. they all seemed so happy.

i want a better life, with an ok job (for now), having family, just a few close friends(at my side or not) and my loved one by my side. Sounds so simple, yet so difficult. Reality strikes. Its not easy, keeping up to pace in work, spending abit of time with family and trying to make things right with your partner, coping with your own expectations and expectations you have of others. May be.. just maybe one day, i'll grow to not expect anything... OR i'll just be more accomodating and dont care what i want myself.

On another note,

i've resumed tennis lessons, after my first lesson... shockingly...6 people, im the only guy, feels so damn awkward. I'm already so shy with people, yet all ladies.. and the coach gives me quite abit of attn. hmm haven't played in quite awhile. My new coach, well... is suria. Shall not do comparisons between my prev. coach and him. But SUria is fine. Looking forward to hitting balls again in the coming week, be it to vent frustrations, or to improve on my technique.. i always feel much better when doing sports. =)

I remember the days when i played basketball everyday back in my late primary sch and early secondary school days. I think less about so many other things... perhaps at this stage of my life, i'm thinking about to many things, might not be alot compared to others..but for myself.. its alot, comparatively to when i was younger.

Not really happy at this moment.. i want to splurge on something... or a few things.. but i can't.. not yet anyway.. maybe in a few more months time.. when i've finally have a teeny weeny bit of savings..den i'll get wad i want . for my self. haven't felt the satisfaction of getting something with my own hard earned money yet.

so many things i wan...what should i get myself...mmmmm hehe.. thinking iPhone, thinking clothes, thinking shoes..thinking..maybe even a new laptop, small n lite one just for work! (current company one..too damn freaking heavy) wad else..ahhh i seem to want soo much.. i want a new pair of specs... i want...shades... i want... new stuff!!!! ^__^ suddenly thinking about shopping i get happier..haha dont' even really need to go out n stuff... crap...

hopefully it'll be a good week ahead..take care my loves

selfish, we both are

2008-01-20T01:42:00.000+08:00

just got back home from a day spent out.

i know its bad to peep at people's smses but i did anyway. It's wrong i know. i'm sorry. You didnt blow up, but i'll just confess that i did anyway.

i wished, you could have just told him off. but you didnt, yet if im not mistaken, u're guilty.
i mean... hai... friends don't purposely come n surprise u when u don't expect them to be there.. i kept quiet through out e day, because i want things to be good today. i wish i could cut ur connections with him.

i wished, the last thing u said to me this evening wasnt "你要我做she么?"' , but just do wad you could without asking, coming from e heart.

i wished you'll for once listen to me when i request you to do something. U may say i try to control ur every action ..but which of those have u ever listened to? non... never...zlich....

in short... i want you to myself, and hope u'll be more sensitive to my feelings rather then them.
and you, just want to do whatever you want... ur whim and fancies... anything.. as long as u like, and it doesnt matter if it threads on my toes...

in a very short way...we're just two very selfish people....

again..i apologize for reading the few text msgs... it only proves me right...doesn't it? you know it. i hope u do.

shall go for a shower n then slp.... its been an ok day for me...

^__^ work is...

2008-01-17T00:28:00.000+08:00

AHHH SOOOOOO DIFFICULT~!!!!! hahaha still trying to understand the architecture and how everything flows in the system. Work it self is ok, its the trying to get things right part that is extremely annoying!!!... take it from here..slowly... still crawling la..*wink* will learn to walk soon .

I saw sylly at ps over the weekendS!!! with...mr...LES...err.. hahaha lalalalala~~ soo happy lah!! so long no see lah ling le!!! lah ling..i book u ...one evening..or weekend for foodie ah!! okok!!?? tell me when is good k!? don't play me out again ah! otherwise..i...PIK PIAK U NO END!!!

Things with the girl has been relatively fine, just that i throw my tantrums ]over small matters..*though i deem it as..BIG* hmph.. otherwise..all is fine...working out fine le... RIGHT!!??? u better say right lor... otherwise..i go n kick u oso

hmmmmmmmmmm thinking of somethings now...will tell in a while~~ whee~~ off to bed!!!

boing boing boing~~~ zzzzzzzz

should have said " im not at home "

2008-01-11T21:59:00.000+08:00

still in a mist of trying to get something resolved..but its more or less out of my skills to do anything about it...
Feels useless when u want to fix something and yet you can't..all you can do is rely on the rest of them... thing is..some arent really that helpful.. but luckily there are always e very helpful ones.. i don't hate the job.. i just hate how it plays on me when i have plans..and when i don't..nothing happens... murphy's law applies i think.

supposed to go tennis..but was cancelled due to bad weather...so...i "entertained" an sms... and it became calls... later it became many many many calls and smses . . . to a point where i get frustrated and i can't scream at the people calling n almosy yelling at me for things not working... oh for crying out loud... i cannot answer all the "why's" all i can do..is to attempt to get it back workin...den we can talk why. other then that..shut e hell up. arghh...

there goes my uni reunion with mates whom i've not seen in months..

so pissed right now ..i could eat a cow... kill someone.. grr

better...

2008-01-09T00:38:00.000+08:00

For the sake of some people~

yes~ things are starting to look slightly better...the relationship part la...

As for my pocket...*starts shaking head* its a start. =)

2nd week of 2nd month at work. Getting used to running around looking for answers... getting used to.. lying abit here and there to buy some time for things to be done. Just still not totally familiar with the works.

^_^ i'm feeling happier..slightly... as everything slowly comes into place... i'm sure it will and can only get better... cheers~

WHEEE~~~ *but work is still stressful...like sometimes i owe everyone money! lol*

Bored on a Sat. Evening

2008-01-05T22:53:00.001+08:00

The girl is out having fun, yet grumbling that its too early to end the Saturday, im worse off..home the whole evening!! was so tempted to go catch a 9pm movie on my own .. ok i must say i secretly agree that its early..but i'd rather it be spent with me..haha wanted to go meet her but realise e Fiat owner is aslp, so i can't just steal his car and the PUG isnt in..so, no transport.
So i'm not going, don't feel comfortable having her drive me home n driving herself back too...

hai... i'm bored man.. wad can i do.. i wanna watch national treasure!! i wanna watch.. michael clayton (oni because its clooney) mmm its been awhile since i've last been to a movie i think.. is it? ahhh i can't rem! OHHH YAH NO NO.. i caught that kiddy chick flick..mmm wad was that..mmmmmmmm can't rem e title..where e cartoon characters came to live..and went to new york.. haha someone tell me the title k? i went with kelly for that flick. sheesh... it seems like so long ago.. hahaha i miss frequent movies! maybe i should start doing that alone on a frequent basis again.. its sooo much better to watch shows in a theatre rather den from home or LAPTOP SCREEN LOR!

okok..i know im crapping..but im just simply bored.

B O R E D.... feel like going out..but have no idea what to do...
B O R E D.... yet too lazy also to do anything
B O R E D.... B O R E D.... B O R E D....

Oooh just to dfz, hahaha i spotted the SHANGHAI MIA GUY!!! so i told him what happened!

And that stoopid lah ling sylly...tell me tmr go ECP until now 11pm still never msg me tell me wad time meet...wah liew...feel like calling n screaming....*calls now*..biang..never pick up my phone.

im forecasting a boring sunday too.. AHHHHHH!!!!!! SIAN AH!!!!!!

Growing, i am

2008-01-03T17:21:00.000+08:00

i am, but it will take alot of time.. i don't change over night just because i said so, its getting better.. it is.
Something that will have me blow my top sometime ago, now i have it curbed... more to come i believe.

dfz : thanks for hearing me out, again. so many times have you done this little thing for me...and its wonderful to have u doing this over n over again...reassuring me that i'm fine and i'm doing well. i'm pretty useless huh.. u're the one thats not feeling well and yet i've got to get you worried for me... i'll be better .. a better man. =) u jia you n take care too. let me know where u'll be shfting too when u do k?

Old Habits Die Hard...or Never at all

2008-01-02T22:34:00.002+08:00

Would have thought that i've changed, but now i realised.. yes i do, probably a tad more patient, but still... just as posessive. But for crying out loud, its not something i like or choose to be...

I have my limits. I flare up, people, you know me well enough that when i flare up, i cannot care less about what is really going on. But still im very sure i have my logic somewhere...

It's not fun being like me ok, when time n time again you've got to control whatever that is building inside of myself... and when it fills to the brim? Is expands... it blows up... but why can't you see it from my end?

Everytime an argument comes up, if you listen to me till the end and argue back to me your point. Do i not listen? i do, don't i?

U're now not the one having to fend off two others from your prize, i am... could you look at it from my perspective? You know... you really know how..."confident" about myself don't you. Sometimes, it would help, if u gave me a hand ... it really would...

I understand that i've over reacted earlier today, this is my usual reaction. but notice it wasnt that bad when it was just "him" sending you home. Until the second half of the story. Realise how i can always dig out something even without really having the intention of digging anything.

So, for the past four hours, i've been to the gym, running it out..clearing my head a little, and the remnants of the time, reading and having my head go bonkers on me... i'm trying extremely hard now... tryin very hard not to call you the moment your lesson ends...for i know you're still mad at me..

Hopefully at the end of tonight, things will be cleared... for us... and everything will be well again...

commit to something. for once.

Two nights ago...

2007-12-30T10:31:00.000+08:00

Was told by DFZ's bf....

Now i know why u've been MIA again.. had the urge to just go over, but i know i can't. It'll be utterly irresponsible of me to leave my post and i know u'll just kill me if i did that.

Like in the past.. i still pray everynight for ur safety and without a doubt i know you'll be well and jumping soo. Again.

da da da fei zhu jia you!!

i've many many things to share with you once you're back. ok? =))

i'm also looking forward to you visiting me if you ever return to your lovely hometown.

mnz

A new Chapter

2007-12-25T09:46:00.000+08:00

Hi all, to those who've still been coming here...

As you all can see, this place is back to a very minimal state... a new and simple look. I've deleted the past entries and started afresh. In this coming new year, again, im up to my usual of claiming that i want to be a better person..to my loved ones and friends.

New updates

Goals of 07

doing a marathon - check! (tho i only effectively ran half of it)
getting a job at year's end - check!

And thats about it. haha, of cos graduating is also one thing..but for that, i can only be relieved to have passed, though not with flying colours but i still made it. cheers~

For now, i've started work at a company which primarily deals with telecommunications, new age kind i suppose? Using VoIP and callback systems as their main services, what i do, basically is just to correspond with our partners, attempt to solve their issues before they kick my butt..(which is happening haha!)
Still learning the ropes, not easy i must say, so much information, so little time to absorb and review, feeling stressed every now and then because i don't know what is going on... hopefully in the coming year, i'll get really good at it, then and only then things will be easier.

GOALS OF '08

Amend and make up for all the hurt i've caused for R
Finishing a marathon with as little walking as possible
Work like i don't need the money (like hell i don't haha),
saving as much as i can...
Tone up and get fitter

mmm yeap, for now, thats all i can think of. Of cause things will happpen along the way, but how these things will turn up for me, will all depend on how i go about them. VAMOS Anson!!!

^___^

personal notes to some people

DFZ : Where on earth have you been the past month ah? ever since my first week of work, you've gone mia.. gone farm staying ahh? You better appear soon. aha got updates for you.

Sylly : Si lahling, whole month you also go mia on me..so busy ah? i know got sufei's wedding and all la..but..wah lau! haha when can we go for our binging session????

Oldest Friend : Lin ah Lin, haha~ nah! got new post le! shuang le mah!!??? hahahaha!! Hopefully things will work out for you ah. Started job searching again anot? since u not happy with them?

Rong : Thank you. I know what i have to do. Until you're comfortable with me again, until you can trust me again and even after it, things can still be like this. It's been a very happy week for me, you're right, lets make more of these memories again.

To myself, Anson, its a new year, new beginning, new chapter of relationships, responsibilities at work, home, friends. You'll have to work hard at every one of those, some things bring out the worst in you, and some, a better you. Do what you have to, do what is right, at this age, everything must be done with care, and not only with the head, but the heart as well.

cheers people!